The Art of Sitting With Your Thoughts
Why Stillness Feels So Uncomfortable
For high-achieving Black women, stillness often feels like the enemy. We come from a lineage of women who had no choice but to keep moving—working, caregiving, pushing through exhaustion—because survival depended on it.
Generations later, we’ve inherited this deeply ingrained belief that rest is unproductive, that slowing down is lazy, and that stillness invites discomfort.
The truth is, avoiding stillness is a trauma response. It’s a way to escape the thoughts that rise in silence—the worries, the self-doubt, the unresolved pain. But when we constantly run from our thoughts, we also run from clarity, pleasure, and self-intimacy.
The Cost of Avoiding Your Thoughts
When we avoid sitting with our thoughts, we disconnect from ourselves. This disconnection often leads to:
Burnout: Constantly moving, doing, and overperforming leaves little room for recovery.
Emotional Suppression: Unprocessed emotions don’t disappear—they manifest in anxiety, irritability, or even physical symptoms.
Disconnection from Pleasure: True pleasure—whether sensual, emotional, or spiritual—requires presence. If we struggle to be present with our thoughts, we struggle to be present with pleasure.
If we want to reclaim our rest and replenish ourselves, we must learn to sit with our thoughts without fear. Here’s how.
Three Ways to Ease Into Thought-Sitting
Start Small: The 5-Minute Thought-Sitting Ritual
Set a timer for five minutes. Sit in a quiet space and simply observe your thoughts. No judgment. No fixing. Just noticing. If you feel resistance, gently remind yourself: I am safe in stillness. Over time, you can increase the duration.Pair Stillness With Comfort
Create a ritual that makes stillness feel nourishing. Light a candle, wrap yourself in a soft blanket, sip a warm drink. This signals to your body that stillness is a space of comfort, not danger.Use Gentle Reflection Prompts
If sitting in silence feels overwhelming, try using a prompt to guide your thoughts. Ask yourself:What is one thing I need right now?
How do I feel in this moment?
What would my body say if it could speak? Writing your reflections can also help process emotions that arise.
Pleasure Practice of the Week: Thought-Sitting Ritual
This week, commit to a five-minute daily thought-sitting ritual. Create a space where you feel safe, comfortable, and uninterrupted. Instead of resisting your thoughts, welcome them as visitors. Notice which thoughts arise without attaching to them. Over time, you’ll develop a sense of peace and intimacy with your inner world.
Ready to Go Deeper?
Stillness isn’t about doing nothing—it’s about reconnecting. If you’re ready to start replenishing yourself after long days, sign up for our newsletter to receive a free checklist designed to help you unplug and restore your energy in the evenings.
Or, if you’d like personalized support, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with one of our clinicians. Together, we’ll create a plan to help you move from burnout to balance.